I Gave My Book to 20 Women for Free. The Men Paid and Actually Read It.

I am going to say something on purpose to get your attention: men are better than women. At least at one specific thing, and I have the data from my own book launch to prove it. So dock me ten points for my own gender, and let me explain.

The free copies that went nowhere

For a year and a half, while I wrote the book, my girlfriends asked about it constantly. Am I in it? Can I read it? I can't wait. Genuine interest, from women who were actually excited. So when it came out, I sent it to close to twenty of them, for free, because I wanted early reader feedback and because that is what you do for friends.

"A month later, not one of them has finished it. None. I have no female feedback to show you." — Marian

A few opened it and went quiet. Some never even downloaded it. The ones who started are still on chapter three a month later. Radio silence from women who had told me, sincerely, that they wanted this.

The men who paid

Now the other side. The men did not get free copies, except for two. Over seventy-four of them paid for the book with their own money.

"The men finished it before I could even send the feedback form. They emailed me, unprompted, with everything they thought." — Marian

They read it, fast. They proactively wrote to me about the flow, what they liked, what they did not, before I asked for anything. Then when I did send the detailed feedback sheet, they filled it out all over again, in more depth. And they kept showing up, following the podcast, engaging with everything that came next. In a field where everyone swears women dominate, reading, the men were the readers.

What this is actually about

I am being provocative with the title, but the real lesson is not that men are smarter or women are lazy. It is about two things I write about constantly.

The first is follow-through. The men did the masculine thing, they acted, they finished, they reached out without being chased. Proactivity. The second is the difference between free and paid. Everyone said it: men who watch my content just want to see me, they would never read a book. But the men who paid valued what they bought, and value showed up as attention.

"When you pay for something, you engage with it. When it's free, you don't." — Marian

The women got it for nothing, and treated it like nothing, even though they wanted it. The men put money down, and that small commitment turned into real engagement. That is not a knock on women. It is a lesson about human nature, and a reminder of why I keep saying that the people who invest, who choose, who put something on the line, are the ones who actually show up. Free interest is cheap. Paid commitment is what reads to the last page.

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