My First Rejection Letter
It arrived today. The day before my birthday. On my grandmother's birthday.
My first official rejection letter.
"I've reviewed your submission with Stephen and I'm sorry to report that we just aren't wholeheartedly connecting with your work, despite its many charms. So, we should step aside."
Writers House. One of the biggest literary agencies in New York. Stephen Barr himself reviewed it with his assistant Erica. They saw "many charms." They just weren't "wholeheartedly connecting."
I should probably feel devastated. Instead, I feel... validated?
Because this means it's real. I'm actually doing this. I'm not just talking about writing a book or dreaming about getting published. I'm in the arena. I'm getting rejected. And that's exactly where I need to be.
The Timeline
Let me give you the full picture of how we got here:
- January 2025: Started writing the first draft
- June 2025: Completed the manuscript at 90,000 words
- July-September 2025: Editing, rewriting, polishing
- October 2025: Built this website, created the agent portal
- November 11, 2025: Sent my first query to Stephen Barr at Writers House
- December 2, 2025: Received my first rejection
Three weeks from query to rejection. That's actually fast by industry standards. Some agents take months. Some never respond at all.
46 Agents. 1 Down. 45 To Go.
Here's what most people don't understand about traditional publishing: rejection is the norm, not the exception. The average author queries 50-100 agents before landing representation. Some query hundreds.
I've prepared query packages for 46 literary agents. Each one has a personalized PIN to access my full author package on this website. Each one represents a potential partnership.
One said no. Forty-five haven't answered yet.
And you know what? Even if all 46 say no, I'll find 46 more. Because I didn't write this book to have it sit in a drawer. I wrote it because this story needed to be told.
What the Rejection Actually Said
Re-reading the email, I notice something important. They didn't say the writing was bad. They didn't say the concept was flawed. They said they weren't "wholeheartedly connecting."
That's agent-speak for: "This isn't right for me, but it might be right for someone else."
Literary agents aren't just looking for good books. They're looking for books they're passionate enough to champion for months or years. They need to believe in it so deeply that they'll fight for it in editorial meetings, negotiate for it with publishers, and defend it to the world.
Stephen Barr didn't feel that fire. That's okay. Someone else will.
The Gift of Timing
There's something poetic about receiving this rejection the day before my birthday. It feels like the universe is testing me. Are you sure you want this? Can you handle the no's?
Yes. I can.
Because I've already faced bigger rejections. I've had people reject my entire lifestyle, my relationship, my choices. I've been called names I won't repeat here. I've been dismissed, misunderstood, and written off.
One polite rejection letter from a New York literary agent? That's nothing.
Tomorrow I turn another year older. And I'll celebrate knowing that I'm one rejection closer to the yes that matters.
To Stephen Barr and Erica McGrath at Writers House: thank you for reading. Thank you for responding. And thank you for being my first no.
It won't be my last. But neither will it stop me.