The Submission in Valentine's Day Nobody Admits

Valentine's Day is coming up, and you've seen all the trinkets, chocolates, postcards. Some people call it "the day where you just buy stuff." But let's go bigger than that.

Valentine's Day is all about submission.

There. I said it. And I'm going to prove it with data, with what happened when Master and I took my book to the Taboo Show in Vancouver, and with a question nobody's asking: if your partner's AI is choosing your Valentine's gift, does it even count?

AI Is the Other Woman

Master and I were talking about Valentine's Day and AI, and we realized something. People are letting AI choose their partner's gifts now. Not just "help me find ideas"—actually delegating the entire decision.

"Maybe your boyfriend's AI or your girlfriend's AI is going to choose your gift for your birthday, for Valentine's Day. They're going to decide on the date." — Marian

Here's the thing: choosing is hard. That's why people use AI for relationship advice, for therapy, for everything. You delegate choice to AI because if she doesn't like the gift, you can blame the AI. If she does, great.

But here's what I asked Master on the podcast: would you be scared to give your phone to your partner and let them see your full AI chat history?

For me? Nothing to hide. It's all AI and code. Master agreed—we share everything. But for most people using ChatGPT, their AI knows everything. Personal details about their relationship, what they like and don't like, how they handle money, their entire perspective on the world.

"You're really sharing personal details about your relationship, about what you like, don't like, how to deal with situations, money management, perspectives on the world." — Marian

It would be way worse than sharing your browser history. Because this is your actual thoughts, unfiltered.

Master made a great point: your girlfriend's AI might choose your Valentine's gift. And if she doesn't like it? Well, the AI doesn't know her like you do. Or maybe it knows her better than you do, because you've been outsourcing decisions all year.

Which brings me to the main point.

Valentine's Day Is a Submission Holiday

Nobody wants to admit this, but it's true. Master and I were discussing this, and let me lay out what Valentine's Day actually is:

Women want men to read their minds. They want the Disney princess date—the roses, the purses, the sushi, the champagne, the hotel room, the flower petals in the bathtub, the massage. They want to be spoiled rotten.

"Valentine's Day is a female holiday. It's nothing more than that. There's like three men who actually enjoy Valentine's Day because all the pressure's on them." — Marian

The man has to do all the planning, all the doing. And then women say "see, I'm dominated—he's doing everything I want."

No.

Master said it perfectly: "Is that dominating or is it prostitution?"

It's the second one.

"It's not because somebody does something for you that you're dominating. That's what women think. But it isn't." — Marian

Real domination and mastery—what Master and I have—are about growth. They're about an exchange of something more than a purse and chocolates and dinner at Blue Water Cafe.

Valentine's Day? That's just the guy wanting to please you for one night.

The Data Doesn't Lie

I found some fun studies about Valentine's Day, and Master and I analyzed them. They prove my point:

39% of women are disappointed when their partner doesn't do enough for Valentine's Day (vs. 13% of men)
24% of women want him to plan Valentine's Day (vs. 14% of men who want their partner to plan)
63% of women feel frustrated in relationships (vs. 46% of men)
Men are happier in relationships: 87% vs. 76%

Let me tell you what that 14% of men who want their partner to plan are thinking:

"Fuck this. I'm not planning. You decide because you're gonna be pissed. I tried to be the leader, the dominant in the relationship, you won't let me, and I've abandoned that." — Marian

Those are the guys who gave up. Their wives controlled everything all year, criticized every choice he made, and now on Valentine's Day she's mad he doesn't plan anything?

He doesn't know where to take you because you've been choosing all year.

The Real Controversy

Here's the most interesting contradiction that Master and I discussed: Valentine's Day is a holiday where the woman is submissive.

You want the man to do all these things. You want him to propose on Valentine's Day. You want him to bring you gifts, to surprise you, to lead. But then the rest of the year? No, you don't lead. I choose where we go to the restaurant. I don't want to go to a taco place.

But on Valentine's? He can do all of that.

If you're boycotting Valentine's Day, you should boycott it because it's a submission holiday. Not because it's commercial. If you're not submissive, you shouldn't participate in Valentine's Day.

And I know that couple who says "we don't care about Valentine's Day, it's too commercial"—I'm sure the woman cries at night because she didn't get flowers or a little special attention.

"When she says she doesn't want Valentine's Day, it's not true. There is no woman that doesn't want a little something for Valentine's Day. It's impossible." — Marian

The Book as a Valentine's Gift

Speaking of Valentine's Day, Master had this idea: you can buy Why Submissive Women Are Happier as an anonymous gift. On mdelacroix.com, it's totally anonymous. When they open the email to download the book, you get a confirmation—so you know they're starting to read it.

Send it anonymously from "a Valentine." Someone who loves you. Because if you send flowers anonymously to a girl, it's because you love her. Same thing with the book—but there's a double meaning.

You're a dominant man offering a book about submission. Are you submissive? Read the book.

And then you know if she read it or not.

Master and I also came up with the best way to give this book to your girlfriend:

Don't show it to her. Make love. Spank her a bit (because she likes it). But spank her with the book. She's going to say "what are you spanking me with?" and she'll be smiling.

Then you give her the book. Perfect Valentine's Day plan—after midnight, of course.

(We have a theory: don't have sex on Valentine's Day. It's the birthday sex curse. If you only have sex on holidays, you'll become a couple who only has sex on holidays. There are way fewer holidays than non-holidays in a year.)

We Were the Most Taboo Thing at the Taboo Show

Master and I went to the Taboo Show in Vancouver to sell the book. It's an adult wellness expo—19+, they serve alcohol, you see people in leather, strippers, burlesque dancers, people dressed as cows (yes, that's a fetish—insemination).

And my book was the most taboo thing there.

All the vendors were flea market vendors, as Master likes to say. Hot sauce, essential oils, baklava, lingerie, high heels, dildos, butt plugs, spanking equipment. Everything you can find at a flea market.

But you can't find Why Submissive Women Are Happier at a flea market.

"Taboo is supposed to be something that would endanger you socially if you talk about it. If you take 'Why Submissive Women Are Happier' to your desk at your 9-to-5 job, there's a good chance HR is gonna come in." — Marian

Your grandma had dildos and butt plugs. Your mom has them. It's not taboo anymore. It might have been taboo in the 1940s, but it isn't in 2026.

Things that are taboo now: AI taking our jobs. Is feminism dead? Why submissive women are happier. What do we do with gender if AIs become real people?

Those are taboo topics. Not a dildo. You can buy that at your grocery store now.

People at the Taboo Show had visceral reactions to the book. They had to say the title out loud to their friends. They had to laugh at it. They had to make a face. All these reactions to a book and two people standing there—at a show where people were literally getting spanked on stage.

"Literature is dangerous in a good way. You have to read it and think. And this is dangerous—people don't want you to think." — Marian

One woman came up and said "I am the dominant one" before even reading what the book is about. I told her: look at the top of the book. It says "Don't judge a book by its cover." But you don't even know what the book is about. You just judged it right away.

You don't dominate anything. Not even this facade, this punk-out. Because you totally judged a book by its cover.

The title has no exclamation mark and no question mark. It's not a question. It's not an exclamation. It's an open-ended sentence: Why submissive women are happier. Period.

I made it like that on purpose.

The Point

This book is a memoir. It's my life with Master, the transformation that happened, the last 10 years of my life and how it changed me. It was written within the last year, so it's very accurate.

And yes, it can change your views on the world. That's why people have this reaction to it—because everybody's scared of changing their views. It's their identity. That's scary.

But not thinking, not rationalizing? That's how we got religion. You have to think, assess, and deal with things in life.

Valentine's Day is a submission holiday. The book was the most taboo thing at the Taboo Show. And if your AI is choosing your gifts, maybe ask yourself if your partner actually knows you.

Master and I celebrate every day like Valentine's Day. Not because we do all the commercial stuff, but because we actually show up for each other. That's the real submission.

If this resonated with you, come talk about it with us—join the Happy Submissive community. And if you want the book, you can get it here.

Listen to the full episode on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube.