You Are Already Submitting. The Only Question Is Whether You Chose To.

Somebody in the live chat wrote the word submission, and YouTube hid the comment. I watched it happen in real time. You type the word, and the platform quietly tucks it away where nobody can see it. That is how controversial this one word still is.

And I love that, because it proves my entire point.

People shut down the second they hear it. They picture a collar, a scene, a woman with no will of her own. They get offended. But the reaction itself is the thing I am trying to take apart, because the word has so much more to offer than what we instinctively think about it.

You cannot not submit

Here is the part nobody wants to sit with.

"The word submission means you submit to power, to hierarchy, to your desires, to Facebook, terms and conditions." — Marian

You submit to technology. Every time you put your email somewhere, every time you open an app, you are submitting to whatever that private company has in mind. Their philosophy. How they will monetize you. How they will use your information. You have already been used by Instagram, because your eyes are worth something, and your eyes usually come with a wallet.

If you take the bus, you submit to the rules of the bus. We live in a society. We live with other people, and there are laws, and there are forces, and there are people with more money and people with less. In every social interaction there is somebody on top and somebody at the bottom. That is just how it is.

So submission is not some kinky exception to a free life. It is the water you are already swimming in.

Slave is what happens to you. Submissive is what you choose.

This is the line that matters, and it is the whole difference between being a victim and being a happy submissive.

A lot of people, when I say I am a submissive, assume I am a slave. And I understand it. It is like that in the kink community. But being captured, having no free will, no bank account, no growth, no nothing, that is being a slave. That is something done to you.

"Be conscious of how you do it, why you do it, to who you're doing it, and then choose. Choose to submit." — Marian

That is conscious submission. Not staying there and doing nothing. Not finding a man who does everything while you cook and clean and disappear inside the house. It is the opposite of that. It means you look at the thing you are already doing, the submitting that is happening anyway, and you decide where it goes.

You only submit when it is for your own growth. You submit to the right person, the right authority, the right knowledge. And just as importantly, you refuse to submit to the things that are not good for you. That refusal is part of the same muscle.

Even YouTube submits

I find it funny that YouTube hides the word, because YouTube is the most submissive thing in the room.

Master made the point and he is right. YouTube submits to the advertiser. It censors everything that might scare the money away. It has to, because YouTube is an ad platform. It does not make money anywhere else. Same for Facebook, same for Instagram. They take a cut of the ads, you pay to run the ads, and the whole machine bows to whoever is paying.

I know this from the inside. I ran an ad for my own book on Meta. A hundred bucks for about four days. That is the deal. The platform serves the advertiser, the advertiser serves the wallet, and around and around it goes.

"YouTube and everybody in there submits to someone and something. This is the way of the world." — Marian

And being mad about it does not help. Anarchy is not a solution. The answer is not to pretend the hierarchy does not exist. The answer is to see it clearly and choose your place in it on purpose.

Anyone who did anything worth doing, submitted to someone

If you ask anyone who has actually achieved something how they got there, they will tell you they submitted to someone. They might not use that word. But they did it.

If you are an Olympian, you had coaches. People who helped you get there. Any sport, that is going to happen to you. Any art, somebody taught you how to do that art before you ever found your own voice. You do part of it on your own, you have to, but you had a guide. You do not just figure it out alone in a vacuum.

There is even the word we all happily use. Masterclass. A masterclass is not a teacher class. And when you watch one, you are the submissive in that exchange. You are not the master. If you were the master, you would not be watching it, you would be giving it.

"It's okay to say masterclass, but not submissive." — Master

That is the absurdity. We have decided one word is poison and built a whole industry on the other, and they come from the exact same place.

So stop being an angry submissive

Here is what I actually want you to take from all of this.

You are submitting either way. The only thing you get to decide is whether you do it angry and unconscious, or awake and on purpose.

"Instead of being angry, submissive, hating your job, hating your life, hating your partner, feeling that you have no choice and you're just stuck, well, just snap out of it and start submitting by choice." — Marian

Submit to the things you want. Refuse the things you do not. The same way you already refuse to give your money to a company whose values you reject, that is you choosing what to submit to. A job, a partner, a teacher, a movement. Choose consciously, and the same act that felt like a cage starts to feel like a direction.

I did not get where I am by going to school and pushing hard to be a man. I did it trying to be a woman, under a man who wanted me to be a woman and not just another man. I run my own companies. I do my own accounting. And every bit of it came through submission, the conscious kind.

That is why submissive women are happier. Not because they gave up. Because they finally chose.

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